Caring for aging parents is a responsibility that many people know all too well. Whether it’s managing medical appointments, making sure they’re taking the right medications, or addressing daily needs, the demands can quickly pile up. If you’re feeling mentally exhausted and overwhelmed, you are not alone. This mental burden is called mental load, and it can be draining. 

Learn what mental load and caregiver burnout are, why they happen, and some tips for helping to find balance and support, including respite care, managing finances, setting boundaries, long-term care options, and more.

What Is Mental Load & Caregiver Burnout?

The term “mental load” refers to the constant cognitive and emotional effort involved in managing tasks, responsibilities, and emotional needs for others. It’s more than just physically caring for someone—it’s about organizing, planning, remembering, and making decisions about their well-being.

Caregiver burnout, on the other hand, is the physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caregivers experience from the demands placed on them. Over time, burnout can lead to stress, anxiety, feelings of helplessness, and even physical ailments like headaches or sleep issues.

If you’re the primary caregiver for your older parents, you may have experienced the following signs of burnout:

• Persistent fatigue, even after rest
• Feeling frustrated, irritable, or resentful
• Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
• Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of caregiving
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

Why Do People Feel This Way?

The pressures of caregiving often stem from several factors:

• The emotional strain: Seeing your parents age or struggle with illness can bring on feelings of sadness, guilt, or even frustration. It can also stir up complex emotions like grief or fear.
• Time commitment: Caring for senior parents can feel like a full-time job, leaving little time for your own needs, personal interests, or social activities.
• Financial burdens: Healthcare, medications, and the cost of caregiving services can add a financial strain on the caregiver.
• Unmet needs: If you feel like you’re handling everything yourself, without support from other family members or outside help, it can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment.
• Lack of boundaries: Many caregivers struggle to set boundaries with their loved ones or others, which can cause feelings of being “stuck” in the role of a caregiver.

All these factors can pile up and contribute to the mental load, eventually leading to burnout. If you’re feeling trapped, exhausted, or overwhelmed, try to take action and seek out ways to regain balance.

Tips for Finding Balance & Support

If you’re wondering how to cope with the mental load and avoid caregiver burnout, here are some actionable tips to help you manage your responsibilities and find support:

1. Explore Respite Care Options

Respite care is a service that gives caregivers a temporary break while a professional caregiver looks after their loved one. This can be for just a few hours a day or an extended period. Respite care provides caregivers with a much-needed mental and physical break, allowing them to recharge.

2. Seek Support from Family & Friends

It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to do everything yourself, but you don’t have to carry the burden alone. Talk to other family members and close friends about the challenges you’re facing. Even if they can’t take on caregiving tasks, they may be able to help with errands, provide emotional support, or assist in organizing appointments. Don’t hesitate to lean on your community for help.

3. Set Boundaries & Manage Expectations

One of the challenging aspects of caregiving is feeling like you need to do everything for your aging parents. Setting boundaries is for your own well-being. Be clear with your parents (and other family members) about what you can and can’t do. Learning to say “no” and asking for help when needed has the potential to reduce your mental load.

4. Take Care of Your Own Health

As a caregiver, it’s easy to neglect your own needs in favor of your parents’ needs. However, neglecting your own physical and emotional health can only make the situation worse. Make time for exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary to help maintain the energy needed to care for your loved ones. Consider joining a local support group or taking up stress-relieving activities like yoga or meditation.

5. Evaluate Long-Term Care Options

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the day-to-day caregiving, it may be time to consider long-term care options. These could include in-home care services or even assisted living facilities. When exploring long-term care, assess your loved one’s needs and find a result that aligns with their health condition and your family’s situation.

6. Get Finances in Order

Caregiving can be costly, especially if you need to make adjustments to your home or pay for outside help. Make sure your finances are in order by talking to a financial planner who can help you navigate costs like healthcare, insurance, and long-term care. Being financially prepared can help ease the mental load and reduce stress over the long term.

7. Let Go of Resentment

It’s normal to feel resentment toward the caregiving role, especially if you feel like your personal life is being put on hold. However, holding on to resentment can make things harder. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of caregiving and remind yourself why you’re doing it. 

Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to feel frustrated or sad. It’s also helpful to seek therapy or counseling to work through difficult emotions and better cope with the strain.

What to Do If You Feel Trapped Caring for Aging Parents?

If you feel trapped in the caregiving role, ask for help. Long-term care options, support from family and friends, and setting boundaries can help prevent burnout. Remember, you don’t have to do it all alone. 

If you’re ready to explore options and find support, schedule a tour of Sommerset Neighborhood in Oklahoma City. Our compassionate team is here to guide you through this challenging time.